Screwing a Co-Worker, Redux

 

Another very important thing to keep in mind if you decide to poke a co-worker, make sure you have the same sexual priorities.  Its supposed to be like hot, and if it is lame, there is nothing more pathetic.  All that sneaking around should equal hot, toe curling, extend confession by 20 minutes sex.

I totally ignored that rule when I hooked up with the FC.  The FC or Fat Chick and she was not-so-affectionately named by a friend, was not so F when I met her.  She was smart, charming, a talented writer and a self-described slut.  Well, as is the case with most self-descriptions, it was completely untrue.  She may have been a slut at one time, she had more abortions than most people have living children.  But now, she was reformed.  Basically, all she did was eat.

She couldn’t take doggie style for more than like a minute, because it “hurt her ovaries.”  Her ass was completely off limits.  She got so fat, so fast, that our bodies didn’t really fit together even though height-wise it should have worked.  That made missionary a bore and combined with the industrial strength condoms I was using (she was running out of wire hangers), sex was more tedious than working.

So, be very careful about who you hook up with in the office.  Discretion is a must, but also, get yourself a complete slut.

The cat?  Oh yeah, one morning after waking up from sex that could have only been worse if Hilary Clinton was involved, I noticed the FC was naked, out cold with her giant ass pointed at me.  So, me being me, I sorta slipped a finger in the back door.  Not too far, not trying to freak her out, just an index finger to the first joint.  Then I let the cat sniff it.  It was a true bonding experience.

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