The Lies We Tell Ourselves, Part I

So, the other day I was chatting with a female friend who told me that she was getting breast implants. Now, considering that I have spent a large portion of my adult life in strip clubs, I know lotsa girls with bolt ons and I consider them to be a very good thing.

Still, fake tits are a luxury, unless you are a stripper, actress, hooker or someone else for whom they may be legitimately tax deductible.   Fake tits imply that the purchaser of the fake fun bags has disposable income that would not be better utilized elsewhere.  You with me?  So this skank has a fucking black tooth.  Its not off to the side, its not a molar, its a top front black motherfucking tooth.  What the fuck is the dumb bitch getting fake tits for?  Fix that tooth!

These are the lies we tell ourselves, that getting slightly bigger tits (yeah, the dumb bitch isn’t even going big) will distract everyone so much that they won’t say, hey, who’s the meth head? when they first see her.  Now, they’ll say, hey, they meth head skank has decent tits.  Dumb ass.

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