Archive for the hooker Category

Cheap Hookers

Posted in Bad Things, Fucking Loser, hooker, Humor, prostitution, Sex on July 29, 2009 by retoxicate
Should I Leave the Cast on the Dresser or the Trough

Should I Leave the Cash on the Dresser or the Trough

Because I am one of the more disgusting slugs to meander through the garden I dig hookers.   Now I am not big on partaking and have not partook in the last (insert time period for statute of limitations plus one day), but I have once or twice.   If you scoot the ads on sites like Craigslist and Backpage, you can play the “How much will this filthy slut look like the Goddess in her ad”.
I’ve encountered some weird beasts that might give Chewbacca a boner, but scared the fuck out of me.  So remember, when you go cheap, leave your pride and bring a harpoon.  Oh and remember Magic Johnson is fat and he has the HIV, so beware.

Wasn’t This an Episode of Dukes of Hazzard

Posted in hooker, Humor, prostitution with tags on June 24, 2008 by retoxicate

A Bridgeport (Hazzard County) woman was charged with prostitution and interfering with an officer (Deputy Enos Strate) after police interrupted a highway chase as she fled from her alleged client (Cooter Davenport).

Stephanie (Daisy Duke) Harner, 28, of Charles Street (Jim Crow Lane), Bridgeport, and Cornelius Robinson (Cooter), 37, of Crescent Street (Lynch Mob Terrace), Ansonia, arranged through the Craig’s List Web site to meet in (parking lot of the Boar’s Nest) Milford for sex Friday afternoon, police said Monday.

When (Cooter) Robinson paid the $250 they had agreed upon, Harner (Daisy) left in her car (a yellow and black 1974 Plymouth Road Runner) and Robinson pursued her onto Interstate 95, where both were arrested.

Police (Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane and Flash) were not aware of the prostitution arrangement beforehand, but found after her arrest that Harner (Duke) has an ad on Craig’s List and that she and Robinson (cooter)had corresponded (mostly by CB radio).

The woman was released after posting a $10,000 bond on charges of prostitution and interfering with an officer. Harner (Daisy)was uncooperative and gave false information on her identity (claimed to be from Petticoat Junction), police said.

Robinson (Cooter)was released on a promise to appear in court, charged with patronizing a prostitute. Both will be arraigned July 8 in Milford Superior Court (by Boss Hogg).

Hmm, would’ve been interesting if Snow White had found this dwarf

Posted in hooker, prostitution, Sex with tags , on June 22, 2008 by retoxicate

NEW YORK (CBS) ― A dwarf charged with prostituting an underage runaway will appear in Kings County Supreme Court on Monday.

Jacqueline Green, a.k.a. ‘Shorty,’ due to her 3 foot 9 inch height, is charged with promoting prostitution and child endangerment for allegedly pimping a 15-year-old that ran away from a troubled home.

According to published reports, Green is accused of using her Bedford-Stuyvesant apartment as a sex pad for clients who paid $250 per half-hour for intercourse, and $100 per half-hour of oral sex.

Clients were found using Craigslist.

Green, 26, pleaded not guilty to all charges. The teenage girl was returned to her family. It is not clear how the two met.

Neighbors at Green’s Brooklyn housing project were not surprised by the arrest, where she was described as a “hustler,” and a “player.”

Reginald Forden told the Post “I didn’t know she was a pimp, but I’m not surprised.”

Lol, as related by a high school classmate

Posted in ass, Bad Things, hooker, Humor, prostitution, Sex with tags , on June 10, 2008 by retoxicate
When I was about 19, I had picked up a SW in Jackson Heights, around the low 80s off Roosevelt. She was about to give me head and then she said, “You know, I’m a boy.” It took a bit of chatting for me to sift through the spanglish, the complete inebriation on my part and my naivete, but I learned she was a TS, actually more of a TV. She had to show me, lol.

Anywho, we pressed on, because I could barely see straight, so why be straight. Well the BJ went nowhere, so she offered to go get her “cousin”. Well, I was half-naked and three quarters retarded and thus in no position to refuse. So my first threesome was with 2 trannies. For some reason my $10 was returned and it was even for free.

Well Trannie # 2 was a bottom with a great bottom and the biggest dick I ever saw, the thing just hung there, there wasn’t enough blood in her body to get it truly angry. Reminded me of the elephant trunk transplant joke, though she had a lot of room for the rolls. In any event, I don’t remember much other than banging (or trying to bang) #1 while #2 kept hitting me in the head with that huge dong while laughing and smoking all my weed.

Good times.

Sheriff Buford T. Justice is on the Case!

Posted in hooker, Humor, prostitution, Sex with tags on June 6, 2008 by retoxicate

Wow, police in Alabama have managed to figure out that there are hookers on Craigslist.  Now, if you get locked up in Alabama, you may end up in a cell with a hooker, a teacher that teaches evolution or someone who rape them both.

(MOBILE, Ala.) June 4- From messages advertising everything from “Southern Belles” to “Damsel in Distress”, all sorts of women, displaying all sorts of images, have ads in the popular classified website “craigslist.” But the kind of ads Mobile Police are interested in are those that lead to the illegal activity of prostitution.

Only NBC 15 was allowed inside as officers set up dates and video taped the encounters. Police say the website worked wonders.

An undercover officer told NBC 15’s Mike Rush, “We started off on craigslist, which was successful last night. We got about four of the girls from craigslist last night.”

Not all of the women were connected to craigslist. Police arrested a suspected madam who, they say, ran an escort service advertised in the newspaper.

But nearly half of the accused came from craigslist. “We shoot e-mails out,” said the undercover cop. “Some of the girls take instant messaging and we’ll converse back and forth on instant messenger.”

Some girls, police say, post pictures. Some even quote prices. But they get away with it because investigators say they advertise legal services like nude massages or escorts. “They will call them an escort service because they consider an escort as a date,” said the undercover cop.

NBC 15 tried to contact craigslist several times for a comment on the arrests and about what measures, if any, it takes to try to identify and remove sex ads from the sight, but no one responded to the repeated requests. However, the “terms of use” section on the website states that craigslist does not control content on the site and users must agree not to post content that is unlawful.

In all, fifteen people were arrested in the weekend sting, nine of those for prostitution. Others were arrested on drug charges or for accompanying the accused prostitutes to the call.

 

 

A Helping Hand, Part I

Posted in ass, hooker, Humor, nude, porn, prostitution, Sex, Strip Clubs, Travel on May 23, 2008 by retoxicate

Pe-Guiliani, Times Square was one of the best places and the worst places on Earth.  Filled with the sketchiest critters, whores, theives, runaways and poorly supervised teenage wannabes (like me), nothing compared to it.  I can’t say that I miss the crackheads and the feeling that real trouble was around every corner (had a few knives pulled on me), but I do miss the sex shops.

The best sex shops had peep shows, not preview booths where you spank it for a quarter while flipping through porn channels, but live girl peeps.  Behind cum reinforced glass that could stop a bazooka shell, thre was a live human being who for just a couple of bucks would show you her twat, maybe stick a finger in her ass, depends on what you paid and, I suppose, how nicely you asked.  Now these places also had the glory hole preview booths and there was lotsa creey dudes hanging around.  I wouldn’t dignify them by calling the gay or queer, they were predators and when you’re 17 they were dangerous, so I pulled a knife on more thana few people.  When in Rome….

Therewas one place, near 49th Street where Lace/Runway 69 ended up.  In these peeps, the glass had a large gap…

 

More to come