Archive for Baseball

Rest In Peace Yogi

Posted in Baseball, Obit with tags on September 23, 2015 by retoxicate

yogi card

A Hall of Famer, sports legend and true original, Yogi Berra passed away.  Sometimes minimized to a malapropos machine, this guy was a fucking great ballplayer winning 3 MVP awards.  Look up his stats, count the rings and check out the Phil Lenz story.  A great competitor and leader and apparently, a helluva guy.  God speed, Mr. Berra.

-retox-

The Mets: A Reconsideration

Posted in Baseball, Mets with tags on September 21, 2015 by retoxicate

Back on July 17, 2009, I wrote a post that was totally fucking awesome, but that stated that the New York Mets will always suck so long as Fred or Jeff Wilpon runs the team.

Now since the trade for Cespedes this year, they haven’t sucked.  Although as the starters collectively run out of gas and the relievers flame out, the end of the season may become more interesting than you’d have thought when the Mets left Atlanta up 9.5 games.  Barring a miracle post-season run (ain’t happening bro), the test for this team comes next year, when they’re supposed to be good.

First, do they resign Cespedes?  (Shakes magic 8-ball)  Signs point to Yeah, right, no fucking way.  The Mets will do what the Mets do.  They will make an offer they calculate seems ok and will sound good to their fans (a group lining up for Kool-Aid as we speak) and that will fall short of an offer that someone in Cespedes’ position would take.

Second, do they go out and get another player than can help them?  How about Desmond?  Oh, the magic 8-ball rolled away laughing.  What is more likely is that we will hear all about how they just fell short, how this or that guy is going to be way better, maybe resign Daniel Murphy, that the kid pitchers will make it through a whole year and that sorta Wilpon speak.

So, Mets fans, enjoy this run.  Hopefully, a miracle happens on the field because the miracle of Fred opening his wallet is much more of a longshot.

-retox-

Mets Management = Big, Hairy, Rancid Pussies

Posted in Baseball, Mets, Rants, Sports with tags , , , , on June 17, 2008 by retoxicate

So, let’s see, Willie Randolph, now ex-Mets manager has watched his job dangle by a thread for weeks.  Of course, the Mets could have fired Randolph at any time.  He didn’t really seem to be the problem, but he didn’t seem to be a part of the solution either. 

Of course, I have no fucking idea how you keep Alou off the disabled list, pluck El Duque from the Witness Protection Program, restock the minors, teach Aaron Heilman to not be a pussy, inject Schoenweiss with something that lets him pitch ok two games in a row, replace Castillo’s knees, give Beltran testicles, speed up Delgado’s bat, get Wagner to back up all his talk, have a bench with real players and a  bullpen too, not have Angel Pagan, Nick Evans, Raul Casanova or Endy Chavez in your starting line-up, ever, uninfect Reyes with the taint of Rickey Henderson, etc, etc . . . .

In fact, looking at that list, a lot of it would fall on the GM of team.  Instead of Omar feeling any heat, it had landed almost entirely on Randolph, who never knew if the next phone call he took was another reprieve from the governor or the warden letting him know that Old Sparky was warmed up and ready to go.

Anyway, shortly after 3:00 a.m. NYC time, after all the mouth-breathing reprobates that write for the NY papers are safely tucked in bed, Los Mets announce that Randolph has been fired along with the first base coach and the always jacketed, likely closeted pitching coach.

So, to sum up, after bringing fucking Rickey Henderson in as a coach, letting Randolph obnoxiously dangle for days after the team collapsed last year (how was that for foreshadowing), never rectifying the situation where some power mad assistant GM jerkoff is interfering in the club house (hey Bernie, how well have you gotten Jose to play with your heart to hearts) and giving him a team that spends more time on the DL than the field and having no credible replacement parts, they let him fly to California, win a game and then fire him.

They may be right to fire him, but you can see they aren’t entirely sure otherwise they wouldn’t hide the move.  Its a fucking disgrace to treat people like that.  The only thing Randolph ever did wrong was to win more with the Yankees than the Mets have even done as an organization.  I’ve been a Mets fan for a long time and I thought I was used to the embarassment of it.  Sorta like having an alcoholic parent with saggy tits who blows kids in your social studies class, and throws up at the father/son picnic.  But its never over, so long as Fred Wilpon or his sling balde son are in charge, the Mets will fail.  On the few occassions they don’t, it will be inspite of them. 

Fuck you Fred, Fuck you Omar, Fuck Shea, Fuck the new place, Fuck SNY, Fuck the sacless team, Fuck the Fake sincerity of Wright, Fuck the bullshit, 1970s NBA attitude of Reyes, Fuck them all.